What would our world be like if the highest necessary level of education was summed up by this picture? True, McDonald's would probably be a prized place of employment, but I would never again have to endure college finals.
My niece really has no idea just how good she really has it. While she and her pupils happily learn about the first Thanksgiving through paper hats and turkey, my partners in crime (aka dorm mates) and I feverishly cram for university finals, living on 2 cans of Red Bull and 4 hours of sleep in 8 days, not truly LEARNING anything per say...but memorizing futile facts about the lineage of Muhammad. I must say, I am jealous of these 2-year-olds.
For instance, look at the first little boy on the far left. Problem #1: his napkin is not in his lap. If I were to attempt this act of invincibility (because he must be implying that he does not believe food will fall into his lap), I would surely be chastised by nearly every elder in sight. Problem #2: the kid is eating with his hands! I'm sorry, but if I were to result to this form of carelessness, I would not simply be chastized, but rejected by each and every member of my social circle; for this is not a fish/chips lunch- he is eating potatoes!
Nevertheless, my dad is standing next to the table, observing not one, but FIVE acts of disregard- in every way- without a care. No no no! This picture is not simply 5 children celebrating our nation's great history, but a clear and direct prejudicial attack against the hard-working college students of our fair country. Not only are the "respected" elders letting these mongrels get away with their behavior, but they crown one of them in honor of their nobility! When was the last time I received anything more than a pack of sugar for the hours that I put in to furthering my education? That's what I thought.
These children are also not quite as innocent as they appear. They obviously are nowhere near the Age of Consciousness, therefore we students have grounds for immense hatred of their kind. You see, it's bad enough that they are acceptably eating with their hands, but they are not even old enough to realize the true pleasure of this action! Oh what the average nutrition-deprived, money-starved, 20-year-old insomniac would give to eat with their hands. But this, of course, would be completely "unacceptable" and "innapropriate". The same goes for naps. Oh how we all used to despise that glorious daily activity...and oh what courses we would willingly fail to have it be mandatory to daily endure that event once again.
As you can see, toddlers these days get away with FAR too much. So the next time your 1-year old child throws a screaming fit over not being able to play with their toy truck, look them in the eyes and tell them to quit their bitching. Hey, they're going to have to learn the cruelty of the world eventually! Why not bring them out of their shell a little earlier? It's for their good!...right? Of course. Just keep in mind, the next time you see a drained 19-year old zombie stumbling to their next 5th floor course on imperialism in Ancient India with a double espresso in their cold lifeless fingers, who should REALLY be wearing the technicolored feather crown. Ya, that's what I thought.